Pearl's Deluxe Burgers (708 Post St., SF)

Today Keithen and I went to Pearl's Deluxe Burgers. I'd never been there before, even though I used to live a block away from it, and now live 3 blocks away from it, because on first glance, (well, also on second and third glance) it appears to be just a whole-in-the-wall, mediocre, doesn't-even-have-a-beer-and-wine-license kinda place. The first thing you see when you look through the door is a Coca-Cola soda fountain - not exactly the feng shui equivalent of a fish tank. The interior is painted almost entirely in a pale lilac color. As I remarked to Keithen, "If this was the waiting room of a gynecologist's office... maybe." What happened to good old orange? Psychology has proven that it makes you hungry. Or even a red, though they would have to refurbish the dark-blue plastic-cushioned chairs. There also is not a lot of seating, although it's more than my all-time favorite San Francisco burger place, Sam's (618 Broadway). But Sam's has character that Pearl's desperately lacks. Of course, if Pearl's looked like Sam's, the Lower-Nob-Hill Hip Police would have it shut down in ten minutes. But I love Sam's. I'm getting off track. After entering Pearl's and being somewhat disgusted at the lack of interior taste, I took a look at the menu. The first thing I noticed was buffalo burgers. That's right! We eat buffalo here in California! It's both healthier AND manlier than beef! Full of omega-3 fatty acids! They also offer all-natural beef, hormone free, organically-grown, non-gmo. And they deep-fry their deep-fried stuff in rice bran oil, which has a mild flavor, 400-something degree smoke point, and no trans fatty acids. And some other good stuff. And the best part yet: I asked if they had pickles, and the guy behind the counter (the owner, I later found out) pointed to a BIN of kosher dill pickles over with the condiments! I could take as many as I wanted! I had four. Also of note, when we got our food, the lettuce was perfectly green (not iceberg) neatly folded to fit within the boundaries of the bun, and the tomato was ripe and red. The 1/4 pound buffalo patty was cooked a proper medium-well, which I was a little disappointed with, as I'm used to the SF-fine-restaurant medium-well, which is really like medium-rare. But they get points for doing it right; next time I'll ask for medium-rare. The only thing that would have improved the meal itself would have been a big cold pint of beer. Or even a bottle of Corona, Sam's-style. So I asked the man whom I now understood to be the owner about the disappointing lack of beer, and he informed me that the "Neighborhood" would cause him some problems if he tried to serve alcohol... despite, or maybe because of, the overpriced liquor store right next door. He also told me that the "Neighborhood" got rid of the trashcan on that block because they were sick of having trash there. I myself have purposefully littered on that block after noticing the frustrating lack of trashcan. I will continue to do so.
So despite the lack of any kind of atmosphere or alcohol, Pearl's Deluxe Burgers gets:
Overall: 8.89 out of 10.

Also, they're open until 2am on Friday and Saturday!